Life Is Good.

I highly anticipate things. I play out how they’re going to go, which is something I think we all do.

So I had the doctor’s appt I was nervous about. I finally saw the GI doctor and got his opinion on my pancreas.

I do have chronic pancreatitis, and he doesn’t know why. He thinks it was caused by the gallbladder attacks I had for over a year and finally did something about. He said I must be able to handle alot of pain, and because of that, he thinks it caused pancreatitis from the already present gallbladder disease. Adam laughed when I told him that, and I reminded him of the fact that I made it through most of my labor without meds. It’s kinda nice to always be able to bring that up like the badge of honor it is. *Snicker* (Side note: Just because I stub my toe and complain about it for two hours doesn’t mean Adam has the right to laugh about my pain tolerance.)

Anyway, the doctor said that cysts can be reabsorbed by the body, which means…they can go away! But he did say that if they haven’t gone away within a six month time frame, they usually don’t go away. He also said that it was good news that it’s the same size it was when he drained it last April. So it hasn’t grown. He said that it didn’t “grow back” after he drained it. Rather, it was still there, although the hope was to collapse it through that procedure. It didn’t collapse, but probably filled right back up with fluid. He then went on to tell me that I could have a surgery to poke a hole in it and let it drain into my stomach. You can imagine my instant grimace. He said if I had it removed, I would probably also lose my spleen. They don’t like to operate on the pancreas, because it’s risky.

So, I asked him my most important question. Is it safe for me to get pregnant. He said yes. He said that usually nothing is done about pancreatic cysts unless they’re symptomatic and causing alot of pain, nausea and problems in general. I do feel that I can live with it at this point, because while I do experience discomfort (pain and nausea and some other issues), it’s not all the time and it’s been WAY less since I started this new diet. I should say lifestyle. Because I really can’t imagine going back to the way I used to eat.

Trim Healthy Mama is worth it. It’s so cool and so simple. I can eat everything! Just not all at the same time. And no sugar. No white potatoes. NOTHING that spikes your blood sugar. It has made a noticeable difference in my energy. Not that I was eating copious amounts of sugar before…but I would always eat too much of a carb source in one sitting. Like white rice. Or too many “Paleo” muffins that were sweetened with maple syrup or coconut sugar. So I thought I was doing pretty good, but in reality I was spiking my blood sugar all the time, which meant that my energy levels went through alot of ups and downs.

I’m more steady now. My energy level stays the same for most of the day, with natural tiredness that doesn’t come from what I’ve eaten. It feels so much better.

I am still dealing with fibromyalgia flare ups. Which is weird to me. I’m not convinced that’s what it is, but that’s the probable diagnosis I was given. If it is, I have hope that the symptoms will subside completely, once I’ve been doing this low-glycemic diet for a while longer. I have read stories of women with fibromyalgia who were symptom-free after only a few months on Trim Healthy Mama. Now, that gives me hope!

I’m still doing the Magnesium “elixir” drink prescribed to me by the herbalist (it’s just ACV and Milk of Magnesia mixed together. Somehow the vinegar unlocks the magnesium. And you mix it in lots of water, so it’s not so bad) and I’m taking daily Epsom salt baths. I love my baths. It makes me slow down and relax. I’ve actually gotten to the point where I know when I need one. My body kinda tells me.

I love working hard. I love getting things done. I don’t like when things slow me down. All these health problems have tried to slow me down, but I look at them as mere speed bumps, because they are not going to control my life. I will be healthy. I will be okay. And I’m healthier now, in terms of what I eat and how low-stress my life is, than I have been in years…or ever.

Yes, I live with chronic “pancreatitis”, they say. But I’m convinced it won’t be forever. Low-glycemic eating can only help my pancreas, that’s for sure, and I’m hoping with the diet and lots of ginger tea and low-stress living, the overall inflammation in my body will go down. Autoimmune disease is where the body is attacking itself. I have Psoriasis, which is autoimmune. The GI doctor wants to run tests checking for autoimmunity being the cause of the pancreatitis, because he said it was concerning that I would have such a large cyst like that, signalling chronic inflammation. He said eating certain foods did not cause it to happen. Just that a low-fat diet will help to not aggravate it.

Well, we shall see. I fear that this blog has become more of a journal, and I didn’t really want that. But at the same time, I wanted a place where I could be transparent about myself. Because I long for transparency in others and in the world around me. So, you’re reading about my health issues, because that is part of me. And I won’t suffer in silence and fear. I am actually, at this point, not afraid. I feel that my trust in God is stronger than ever, because He’s brought me through some tough times, and shown that He is ever faithful. My life is happier and more fulfilling than ever. And I can’t begin to express my deep, deep gratitude for that.

Sometimes it takes the deepest darkness to make you appreciate all of the light. I am so thankful for the light that is my life right now!!

So, as I make decisions on whether to do the medical tests the doctor recommended, I have peace. I’m totally calm and not freaking out. Which is awesome. I don’t feel that this has taken over my life. I feel that I’ve gotten to a place where it is much more manageable. I’m seriously so thankful for the life God has blessed me with. My wonderful little girl. I can’t believe she’ll be TWO soon. And my husband and our marriage. And my sister and her love and support. Always steadfast and there for me. And the sweet ladies that surround me, that I feel are a part of my life now for a good reason.

I truly feel fulfilled. For the first time in my life, I’m fulfilled. There is always something to be done, and something to complain about, and something that I want “changed”. But for now, there are no major things that I want changed! I’m…happy! I love being a mom. Olive’s little toes and sweet smile and cute voice never, ever get old. And Adam’s hugs and kisses never cease to comfort and excite me.

Life is vibrant. It has many colors and seasons. I am loving this season. And I need sleep, so I’m going to bed. Sorry I was so rambly this time. Next time I’ll write about something important. I’ve got plans. 😉

CAM00095Life has gotten so much better since this picture was taken!

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